I wrote the title for this post back in July and then didn’t write a damn word until today. This is ironically exactly what I wanted to write about. I have to tell you all, or you few haha, I’m not doing a good job at writing anymore. In the last 5 years, I’ve written one novel to completion and lost interest in the editing process, I’ve written half or more of 3 more novels that seem as lost as the time before I wrote a single word. Hell, the books themselves seemed more alive than when I wrote them down.
I used to thrive on writing while depressed. There was a time when I actually relied on it. There was a time that I wondered if I would be able to write without it.
Hell, the books themselves seemed more alive than when I wrote them down.
This website is the biggest sign that I’m having a hard time writing. I used to write all kinds of stuff on here, and I loved doing it too. Maybe it’s not just depression but maybe my heart’s shifted and writing isn’t my passion anymore. But since nothing has taken the place of it, there’s a vacancy in me.
It’s difficult for me to shed the identity of being a writer if I really am done with writing. Anytime anyone asked what I am or what I do, I say I’m a writer and a musician.
Needless to say, mental health is a bitch and I hope I make it through the never-ending grey.
That’s apt. It’s not bad enuf to kill me (yet) but it’s bad enuf to rob any reason for living from my day to day.
I’m wrestling with these same issues. I haven’t felt like writing, that I am a writer at all (or any longer) for months. I’ve made notes for new stories here and there, picked at a few things, even submitted some stuff, but the entire effort seems futile, like it was a part of my past that I’m not smart enuf to see is no longer a part of my present.
I hope this is just the sour grapes of a down cycle and that I’ll come out on the other side able to write again. I hope when I don’t feel hope though.
Definitely feel all of that, man. It’s tough missing something that I used to hold so close to my identity. I miss the love of writing. I hope you find your way out of the grey