Today I Was A Pallbearer

My great grandpa died a few days ago. He was 100. I figure something like that warrants a post to put some of these feeling into words.

I never knew him too much. We used to visit him before he went to a home.

The funeral was today and I was a pallbearer. That was a first for me. Carrying a man to his final destination. I saw bystanders like myself stand, weep and listen to the pastor’s words and prayers. The thoughts and feelings I’m left with reminds me of something I wrote a while back that I’d like to share again.

What has changed?
Where does this leave us?
I can only answer this for myself

It’s an amazing journey
Filled with so much love
And so much pain

There is a song
Playing every day and night for us
In sadness and delight
It plays whether we choose to hear it

It’s an amazing journey
Filled with so much love
And so much pain

Picture via – http://m0rethan-art.tumblr.com/

Thank you, Zac Zinn

January 20, 2015 by Zac Zinn Categories: death, funeral, life, WritingTags: death, funeral, life, love, pallbearer, Writing 3 Comments

What Inspires You? (A Story of My Friend)

What inspires you to write? What hits your bones and your blood pump and make you want open up the word document or a blank page and write?
I’ve asked why do you write before, but now I’m asking what inspires you?
Religion? Love of any sort? Nostalgia? Or maybe just a creative edge that needs to be let out.
I write in a mix of all of them. Besides the fact that I just enjoy writing, I do it because I have things to say.
I do it because I want to portray a message of _____ to people.
I think all writers can say that statement. But the question is – what fills that blank?
Maybe it’s hope. Maybe it’s despair and everything in between.
My answer would certainly never be just to write an action book. I’m not hammering on people who write those, it’s just not for me. Anything I ever write is either a release for me in some way, or it’s something I want people to read.
People sometimes, well, oftentimes mention that my books are very sad and depressing but that’s because they miss the mark. Take the main character of my 2012 novel, Landon. He was in high school and had cancer. When they were done reading it, they told me it was a very sad book but I disagreed with them. My message was hope; not to write a book for the sake of being sad, unlike another absurdly famous book regarding teenage cancer… but we won’t get into that now.
My message of hope was if your time was rapidly coming to an end, how would you spend your time? What’s worth your thoughts? Words? Everything suddenly matters a whole lot more than it did before.
It’s nostalgia. A very good friend of mine died of cancer in 2011. And like my book, the outlook was grim. It didn’t stop him from becoming a man I could look up to because even in the face of death, he shone a bright light for everyone to see. He found the secret we all search for. It was true happiness with his life, from his wife to his friends; it was truth.
When my fingers hit the keyboard, they wrote about what was inside my heart. Nostalgia of my friend. I saw truth, and I had to write it.

So what inspires you? Is it something specific or something abstract?

December 22, 2014 by Zac Zinn Categories: cancer, family, literature, Reflection, WritingTags: cancer, death, friends, God, hope, life, literature, memories, Nostalgia, poetry, reflection, terminal disease, Writing Leave a comment